Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Final Fall Quarter

Before I started this school year, I thought I was going to graduate in the spring.

I met with my advisor a few weeks ago to make sure I was on track to graduate and had all of my classes planned out.

Unfortunately, two of the classes I had been planning to take my senior are no longer being taught because one professor quit, and the other is so ill they can't teach right now.

So, I may not be able to graduate by Spring after all.

I can't tell you how bummed I am about this. I am 26. I'm ready to be done. I want my degree. I want a big girl job, I want to be able to enjoy my life and not feel guilty when I am not using every moment I am not in class spent on reading, studying or doing homework. I want to be able to come home from work, and just relax, watch a show on hulu, talk with my b/f, hang out with friends or family, and not feel that guilt feeling in my gut that I should be home working on something for school.

Most people in my classes are much younger than me but for a couple of older adult students.

I'm just at a different place in my life than most of them.

I'm not a big drinker or anything, but some of them are not even old enough to drink!

They just make me feel old and out of touch. Many of them are so fresh out of High School that I feel so rusty is so many subjects. It's really frustrating.

The people who sit around me have an influence on me too, and I hate that.

In almost all of my classes you get participation points for giving answers and opinions in class, but I only seem able to do it if the people around me do it too.

I need to be more brave and care about myself because 1) those people won't matter after my class is over, or I'm out of school. 2) My grade is more important to my future than what some random strangers think about me that I will never speak to again once we no longer have classes together. But yet, I care.

I want to sound smart when I answer a question in class, and sometimes I am afraid to speak because I will be wrong, and that's mostly in my spanish class because I should have studied more over the summer.

I guess that's the thing that's really bothering me now. I wish I would have applied myself more when I was younger.

I have this habit of memorizing things in the short term and forgetting them later. Not very helpful once you get to College.

But all I can do now is study as hard as I can to make up for lost time.

So for finals next week and completing my papers this week, I am scheduling a plan of attack. After this post, I spend the rest of the night working on my research paper, and maybe throw a few spanish flash cards in there in between. Tomorrow, I will finish my research paper and take it to the writing center for editing before I turn it in. If I get far enough tonight, I might even take my paper in tomorrow for editing. Why not right?

Thursday I have a presentation for my research paper, so that's why I want to be done if possible by then. I was given an extension so I can use some alternate research that I had trouble locating before that I find pertinent to my topic. I am writing about Virginia Woolf and Three Guineas.  I have to say it's hard to feel motivated today when  I only got 4 hours of sleep last night.

It takes me to be extremely tired in the morning to be willing to skip a day of washing my hair. I'll get to that more in a future post. Possibly after finals.

My weekend will be spent reading over old material, studying flash cards, and preparing writing my essays. Then my long awaited x-mas break. I can't wait!

It will be so nice to finally spend some guilt free time with my friends and family!

There is a chance I may go to a study abroad seminar next week to see if I can complete my remaining english credits through a study abroad program.

No better way to be brave than to travel all by myself. Not sure what my options are, but I should find out next week!

I hope you are keeping up with your healthy living! I am putting Yoga on my to do list today to keep my work out going and get some much need stress relief!

Visiting my Dad on Thanksgiving.

No comments:


Actually, Ashlie | Template By Rockaboo Designs | 2012